Yesterday, I was having a nice chat with my friend
After watching Buhari’s interview in Aljazeera and reading
Comments on NL. So we were joking about how Nigeria
Will be like if it is Islamized and sharia implemented. Here’s some of the jokes we shared.
NB:They are scary but true.
After watching Buhari’s interview in Aljazeera and reading
Comments on NL. So we were joking about how Nigeria
Will be like if it is Islamized and sharia implemented. Here’s some of the jokes we shared.
NB:They are scary but true.
1. No more brazillian hair for the
2. No women driving cars anymore lol. Na koboko certificate be dat
3. Women can no longer go out without permission and assistance of a close male unless she likes koboko
4. If you are a woman and you are raped, you will receive 54 lashes of koboko and jailed for 6 months for putting the guy in temptation
5. No more ass shaking girls in Olamide’s videos
6. Timaya’s head will be cut off for morally degrading the society with his bum bum video as well as other artists such as Iyanya kukere and Davido fans mi (drugs)
7. All baby mamas’ head will be cut off
8. No more choosing your own spouse. What’s the need since you already have been betrothed to one guy like that who can still marry other women if he likes
9. If you sit in public with Shiite Muslims, koboko for you
10. If you shake hands with a woman, na koboko for you
11. No more pastors preaching in the streets, dem no born you well?
11. No more pastors preaching in the streets, dem no born you well?
12. Christians will become third class citizens after the Shiites in second class. Therefore if a first class guy slaps you in broad daylight, he is right. Any objections, visit the sharia court.
13. Nigeria will no longer be Nigeria because it will be renamed to the name of “the saint that did everyone good by enforcing Islam”. Just like the Al-Saud family renaming the country to Saudi Arabia. If you have any objections, present your back first.
14. If Olamide won’t sing ONLY songs of praise for Allah, then he should go and sleep. Otherwise he should submit his back for proper lashing to remind him of where he is.
15. To cure konji go be only for the Emirs and sultans.
16. To go ashawo go be only for the royal family in the UK. If you try am, your head go disappear.
17. Bombings will become a normal thing all over the country and not just in the north.
18. If you are madly in love with koboko, then read the bible in public!
19. Chyking a girl becomes a dare devil act. Only the “Mad” in spirit tries it and goes away with 24 koboko maps on his back. If you are not “Mad” in spirit, then…
20. If you browse porn site.. CHOI!!!!!
21. Women can say bye bye to politics, unless somehow there is strong pressure from the western investors
22. Twenty yr old unmarried woman will be like:::: “When will my own husband come? I am getting old!”
If you have more suggestions, bring it on. Let’s keep the fun going….
Uche Kelechi writes from Lagos
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